


Uncertainty

by fairyminseok



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Confusion, Friends With Benefits, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 09:55:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6370249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairyminseok/pseuds/fairyminseok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yixing isn't really sure what it is, but something has always intrigued him about Kim Jongin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uncertainty

**Author's Note:**

> This little mess here was my first Exo fic ever and I felt it needed a place in my masterlist so I'm crossposting it here :3
> 
> Kaixing.. the memories.

There was something about Jongin that always intrigued Yixing. Maybe it was the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, closing shut tightly, radiating a warm glow, the kind that draws a person in. Maybe it was his love for fried chicken, the way his eyes would light up, glittering, emitting a child like aura. Maybe it was the fact that he never wore socks, despite Yixing’s gentle protests, despite constantly falling sick. Maybe it was the way he acted when he eventually did fall sick, clinging to the sleeves of Joonmyeon’s sweater, whining in a way very uncharacteristic to his usual quiet attitude. Maybe what intrigued Yixing the most was the way his collarbones glinted in the sunlight, exposed by a collar that was too loose to be innocent. The way his delicate but firm hands gripped Yixing’s when nerves overcame him. The way Yixing’s hands seemed to fit perfectly on his hips, sliding down to his backside, to ease him into a special place. The way Jongin threw his head back, closing his eyes, running those wonderful hands through his thick dark hair. The way Jongin would make sure to look Yixing dead in the eye, muttering something that may have been words of love before reaching his climax.  
Yixing was sure there had to be something about Jongin he didn't like. Perhaps it was the way he clicked his tongue before speaking, or the nervous giggle he would emit before saying something that might cause embarrassment. Maybe what Yixing disliked- no hated – was that Jongin only showed genuine feelings and emotion towards him in bed. Or maybe it was that sometimes he clung a little too tightly to Sehun when he thought Yixing wasn't looking. The one thing Yixing was sure of was that something that started with accidental touches and experimental kisses had become something he wasn't quite expecting.  
  
Maybe Yixing couldn't tell you what he liked or disliked about Jongin. Maybe he didn't really know. Because Jongin in the end, was simply Jongin. He was a boy, and a confusing one at that. A boy that caused Yixing’s usually passive expression to darken, a boy that caused Yixing to jolt into reality whenever he feels a stray tear trying to escape. Perhaps, Yixing muses one night, as multiple tears escape, refusing to stay put, refusing to let his face continue to show no outlying emotion, perhaps he should confront Jongin. Stop him when he leaves his bed early in the morning, ask him out on a proper date instead of clashing their mouths together sloppily in the empty dance studio, sweaty and wanting. Perhaps he should bring him medicine and food when he falls sick, instead of insisting that Joonmyeon be the one to do it.  
  
But Yixing knows, he knows that won’t happen. He simply lacks the courage. He tries, of course. He feebly calls out Jongin’s name as he leaves the room, knowing he won’t hear. He brews him tea, and buys him medicine only to freeze outside Jongin’s door, fear overwhelming his senses, before shoving the things into the leader’s hands and practically running to his own room, slamming the door and falling into his pillows, exasperation and anger replacing his fear, frustration at his own stupidity beating down on him.  
  
One night, after awakening to an extremely drunk Jongin and fucking him to the point that he’s sure they’d both stopped breathing, does Yixing gain enough to courage to stop him from leaving. He thinks it’s probably because Jongin’s drunk out of his mind, and might actually comply.  
  
Which he does.  
  
Yixing’s call startles the younger boy, who is intent on stumbling out the door, now sobering up, regretting his actions. Yixing thinking back, surmises that this is probably the moment when he realized that maybe the other boy did like him, maybe the other boy was just as intrigued. Because when he turns around his eyes are brimming with unshed tears, and his hands are shaking.  
Yixing’s not sure what makes him do it, but he rises from the bed and gently takes the younger boy’s trembling hands into his own, and kisses him gently, in a way that he’s never kissed him before. This isn't a kiss filled with lust, or a hurried one, needy and sloppy, on the floor of the studio. This is a kiss in which he attempts to pour every unsaid feeling, every word he’s been to scared to say out loud, every moment he doubted their unhealthy relationship.  
  
And Jongin kisses him back, tears now freely streaming down his face, sobs muffled by Yixing’s soft and comforting lips. When he finally pulls back the younger boy simply stares at him. Maybe it’s the way his eyes nervously shift from side to side, looking everywhere in the room but him. Maybe it’s the way his breathing becomes uneven, and the room begins to feel significantly warmer than before. But Yixing thinks maybe it’s the way Jongin’s mouth opens and the words tumble out, without warning, and by the way his hands fly to his mouth, very unwanted. Yixing simply repeats his words, without moving, or displaying any emotion in his voice, and maybe it’s the way Jongin’s eyes snap up to meet his own, maybe it’s the way he suddenly moves forward pushing him into the bed.  
  
They don’t have sex again that night, but Yixing thinks maybe that’s okay, because for the first time, Jongin is curled into him, arms around his waist, breathing slowly and deeply, and maybe that’s okay, because finally he has the confirmation he’s always needed.  
  
Yixing falls asleep easily, with a smile on his face, because maybe, no definitely, Jongin is quite intrigued by him too.


End file.
